Ashera is a Marriage and Family Therapist with an extensive background in sexual health education. You can ask her stuff anonymously and she won’t get weirded out. Seriously, try her. Send your queries through our anonymous contact form here.

Dear Smashera,

This is super gross and I’m sorry, but is squirting real? My friend told me that she “learned how” to squirt, and I think she really just peed on a guy. She swears that it’s different but I really don’t get it. Now I can’t stop wondering about it and I’m not sure I really want to dig around on the internet to find out. Help me sleep at night I don’t want to think about this anymore.

Love,

Questioning Reality

Dear Questioning,

You are not alone in your quest for this knowledge! There are literal researchers studying this physical phenomenon. These humans are getting paid to collect data, write papers, and come to scientific conclusions on this subject.

They are truly living the dream.

For those of you that don’t spend too much time on the internet, “squirting” is when a lot of fluid is released out of the urethra during orgasm. What this fluid is and why it doesn’t happen to every woman are hotly debated subjects. For some people, it’s just a part of their natural sexual development and they have just always squirted. Other people can learn to stimulate themselves enough to squirt.

So what is it?

While they only had a sample size of seven women, scientists in France did ultrasounds to find the origin of the mysterious fluid. Basically, they discovered that female ejaculation comes in two forms. There’s the less visually exciting normal stuff, which is a viscous fluid produced inside the vagina. Squirters have a little to a lot of other fluid come out of their urethra. Sometimes, there’s a little white fluid in the squirt, which probably comes from the skene gland. For some, it’s not a lot of fluid at all, whereas some women have a bit more of a geyser situation. You can read about the study here.

Here’s a really friendly video explaining! I promise it’s nothing you can’t un-see. I wouldn’t do that to y’all.

The scientists discovered that the liquid itself comes from the bladder. So yeah, chemically it’s like super diluted pee, sometimes with another protein, PSA, hanging around. The women who can squirt report that their orgasms are much stronger when they squirt, and it usually takes a lot of g-spot stimulation. The liquid doesn’t have a smell or color, so it’s not like they wet the bed.

But here’s the thing: that study has a really small sample size. There are other theories out there as to what’s happening.

Some people think that maybe squirting happens due to increased pressure on the urethra. Once a vagina gets real turned on, all the tissue swells up. Having the urethra right there would naturally put pressure on the situation. Others think it’s fluid from the skene gland.

So yeah, there’s no quick cut answer. There might be a little pee in the fluid, but it’s pretty diluted. It’s not unhealthy or anything, just something some women do and others don’t. Cosmo has compiled real stories from real squirters, all of whom seem to enjoy their “gift.”

There are helpful tutorials out there for people who want to learn to squirt, but if it’s not your thing then don’t feel pressured to try. Like everything in sex, do what feels good and stay safe and consensual.

Kisses,
Smashera