Articles by Ashera DeRosa

December 10, 2019

Good Neighbuzz: The MOCHA Center

Brought together by their work, the staff members of the MOCHA Center are truly emblematic of what grassroots organization and community-building can be.

November 30, 2018

Smash Talks: Flowers for Others

A little over a month ago, I ended things with a woman I’d been seeing. There were many reasons as to why, but most of them fall under the “I don’t like how you treat me” umbrella.

November 23, 2018

Smash Talks: The Bounce

I’ve noticed that some of my friends seem to bounce from one relationship to the next, often with no time in between. I’ve asked the more serious offenders about this, and they never really seem to know why they do this.

September 29, 2018

WYD?: Suicide

September is Suicide Prevention Month, and there’s been increased dialogue on the topic on all social media platforms.

July 10, 2018

Tuesday Tunezday | Summer Jams!

Be Steadwell, The Internet, John Mayer, Taylor Swift, Kid Cudi, & the Yeezy Season 2018 Summer Collection round out this month’s installment of Tuesday Tunezday.

April 20, 2018

WYD?: Sexual Assault

Once a month, Smash Talks columnist Ashera Buhite addresses a difficult life situation and highlights some local agencies that can help you navigate what to do. This month she speaks with Cameron Balon of Crisis Services about sexual assault.

April 3, 2018

Tuesday Tunezday | No. 2

The Prettiots, Kelli Schaefer, Rihanna, Ana Tijoux, AmaLee, Hayley Heynderickx, and Class Warfare round out this month’s installment of Tuesday Tunezday.

October 26, 2017

NOISEMAKERS: Ladies Who RAWK

In this very special edition of NOISEMAKERS, we profile Qween City’s very own Shannon Dawn in her newest act, Shanzig, as well as Sherry D. Koehler, the baddest lady drummer in the 716. Shannon Dawn Shanzig is a Danzig tribute act, which is “more than a cover.” This more theatrical act will be doing “10 …

August 4, 2017

Smash Talks: It Starts with You!

Lately, a lot more people have been asking me in person and online about getting tested, mostly because of a (now falsified) article that named Buffalo as the “most dangerous city for online dating.”

June 23, 2017

Smash Talks: Intimacy Inadequacy

I’m about a year and a half into my first-ever relationship with a woman. Several months in, my fatal relationship flaw appeared on schedule: I started to become completely uninterested in sex with my very loving girlfriend.

June 16, 2017

Smash Talks: Ménage à Trouble?

So, I have been mulling over the idea of “treating” my husband to a threesome for our 10-year anniversary. He has told me a few times that his fantasy has always been to have a threesome and that he would love to try it with me and another girl of MY choosing.

May 26, 2017

Smash Talks: Love Off the Mark(et)

I’m writing to let you know I’m officially done with men and dating. I’ve taken myself off the market because dating makes me lose my f**king mind. All the horrible experiences I’ve endured with men have taken a toll on my self-esteem and now non-existent sex drive. I don’t feel safe with men anymore. Where do I go from here?

May 19, 2017

Smash Talks: Tools for Navigating Your Life Explosion

I’m hoping you can help but I know this is a lot to ask for—my life is generally falling apart. My long-term relationship of five years is dwindling into dust, my career is non-existent and I’m scarred from a puzzling childhood. However, I’m not in a position to afford weekly therapy that is clearly much needed. Do you have any tips or know of any resources?

May 12, 2017

Smash Talks: Cleansing Mama

My relationship with my mother is…complicated. I haven’t spoken to her in several years due to it being toxic and painful. I always feel super weird around Mother’s Day and I don’t really know what to do about it. I know it’s just another day and I should just ignore it, but I can’t seem to.

May 5, 2017

Smash Talks: Give Up the Ghost

In the past year, I’ve been “ghosted” twice. I’ll hang out with a person for a few months and everything seems to be going fine, and then all of a sudden they cut contact with me completely.

April 21, 2017

Smash Talks: Border Behavior

Recently I was called a narcissist by an ex. Normally, being labeled by someone who lacks credentials in any field of psychology has very little bearing on how I live my life. However, this one was different.

April 14, 2017

Smash Talks: A Wide Spectrum of Love (or Not)

After years and years of confusion and questioning and soul-searching, I’ve finally admitted to myself that I am asexual (or at least gray-/demi-). This realization has brought me a lot of peace and overwhelming relief. All well and good.

April 7, 2017

Smash Talks: Depression in LGBTQ Youth

My teenage son has begun questioning his sexual orientation and gender identity and has now become very depressed. I tell him that I love and support him no matter what, but I don’t know what else I can do. Any advice would be appreciated.

March 31, 2017

Smash Talks: Cap Dat

I have to stop using hormonal birth control for health reasons, but my boyfriend and I have never really used condoms so I don’t know where to start.

March 24, 2017

Smash Talks: Grieving and Loving

My mom passed away five months ago. My dad who was married to her for 25+ years has already started dating. If you could shed some insight on why he could have possibly moved on this fast, I would really appreciate it.